yet another day of memories...
I will do that another time i supposed.
Can't seem to sum up the enthusiam for that.
For those who have been talking to me,
you would have known that I have had some problems with my exchange
Furthermore, with other issues,
I have hence decided to withdraw.
It's final, finito this morning
When I made the call.
I guess deep down, part of me is relieved
that at least a decision has been made.
It has been tiring,
wavering between all the unsettled issues
like accomodation and classes.
but at the same time,
most of me is feeling frustrated now
frustrated at this sense of un-peace in me.
apart from the aftermath of withdrawing,
i guess i would not be at peace,
until everything is settled, and my path is clear
Honestly, if being a human is an occupation
i dunno if i am cut out for it
all the insecurity issues
not knowing how tml will be.
I can deal with minor changes
but major upheavals?
I seriously dunno.
And i guess to a large extent,
my insecurity stems from the problem of not having full knowledge
without full knowledge
everything becomes a guessing game.
i guess that's why i dislike guessing
dislike surprises of any sort
they catch me offguard,
and i am not prepared.
and i do wish people can be more open.
More open to share about their issues, their problems.
I may not be able to solve it,
but at least i know of it,
i will try to solve it,
or even if i can't,
i am prepared for the consequences of it
in a nutshell,
i wish i can be in more control.
but that would run contrary to what Christians are taught right?
we are taught to surrender
what then does it mean to surrender?
to give it all up?
To have no expectations of how things will turn out
or to be aloof and just let things unfold?
I dunno.
Just lots of questions and one response
I dunno
7/10/2007 07:11:00 PM
Dreams
To be out and open
Independence
To be totally Christ-like
I believe that:
Courage is not an absence of fear
but the willingness to face up to the circumstances in spite of the fear.
Desires
A Pair of Pretty Sandals!
CPA! Achieved!
Investment Guru
dislikes
creepy crawly "things"
Unnecessary politics
Goals
get driving license
start my own business
to create my own hedge fund
older memories
my past journey