Yet Another Part of Life's Journey

Friday, July 20, 2007

Wonderful Birthday Part 2

And now as everything is under control,
plus I am slowly picking up from where things were an uncertainty,
I guess it's time to write down memories that made me happy,
and that I had long wanted to.

Funny how plans never seem to work out all the time.
We either procrasinate til it doesn't happen,
Or by the time we want to do it,
It just seems so too long ago to be still appropriate;
Or we no longer can do it

*i am digressing*

Anyway, about writing,
Not that I won't remember what I had,
But rather I wanna pen it all down..
Kinda like leaving footprints behind,
sharing them with others

So on the sat of the weekend of my birthday,
I had training.
That did not dampen any plans,
because in many ways more than one,
The training benefitted me alot.
And I loved the companies of the guys.
Sometimes, I really feel like they are a big part of my life =)

Then I had a pleasant surprise.
Was tricked into believing that we are going to visit a friend
And all along the way I was asking Juls where we were going,
Trying to figure out my surprise

Once we were in Chinatown,
In that greeny building next to OG,
Then only did I realize what I was in for.

This sounds really wrong,
But i had a gift of pain and enjoyment.
It was my first time
And I was really afraid

I never knew that foot reflex felt that way
It was good,
But you just wanted to pull away
Cuz it can really get painful.
But when the tense muscles get loosened
=) That's when it really felt good

I never realized how bad it is to wear heels
Day in day out,
but I guess I just can't resist them
Thankfully for the invention of foot reflex =)

I really enjoyed it =)

Then after,
we went for steamboat at Marina Bay.
Another of my long term favourites =)
Had fresh prawns,
And Juls managed to wash the crabs
So it really did taste good =)

We then went for drinks with the other gals,
When someone met someone,
And then they got together..

Very beautiful end to a very beautiful day =)

yet another day of memories...
7/20/2007 02:49:00 PM

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Emotions & feelings

I was supposed to continue on Part 2 of my birthday.
I will do that another time i supposed.
Can't seem to sum up the enthusiam for that.

For those who have been talking to me,
you would have known that I have had some problems with my exchange
Furthermore, with other issues,
I have hence decided to withdraw.

It's final, finito this morning
When I made the call.
I guess deep down, part of me is relieved
that at least a decision has been made.
It has been tiring,
wavering between all the unsettled issues
like accomodation and classes.

but at the same time,
most of me is feeling frustrated now
frustrated at this sense of un-peace in me.
apart from the aftermath of withdrawing,
i guess i would not be at peace,
until everything is settled, and my path is clear

Honestly, if being a human is an occupation
i dunno if i am cut out for it
all the insecurity issues
not knowing how tml will be.

I can deal with minor changes
but major upheavals?
I seriously dunno.

And i guess to a large extent,
my insecurity stems from the problem of not having full knowledge
without full knowledge
everything becomes a guessing game.
i guess that's why i dislike guessing
dislike surprises of any sort
they catch me offguard,
and i am not prepared.

and i do wish people can be more open.
More open to share about their issues, their problems.
I may not be able to solve it,
but at least i know of it,
i will try to solve it,
or even if i can't,
i am prepared for the consequences of it

in a nutshell,
i wish i can be in more control.
but that would run contrary to what Christians are taught right?
we are taught to surrender
what then does it mean to surrender?
to give it all up?
To have no expectations of how things will turn out
or to be aloof and just let things unfold?

I dunno.
Just lots of questions and one response

I dunno

yet another day of memories...
7/10/2007 07:11:00 PM

An Instrument of Peace
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant me that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

(Attributed to St Francis of Assisi )