Yet Another Part of Life's Journey

Monday, February 19, 2007

The Art of Angbao Giving

Frankly, I was quite hesitant to blog about it.
Let me say that I am not complaining,
But I just notice and am very fascinated
This thing about Asians & the art of angbao giving.
This post is purely to entertain,
Any negative emotions created are absolutely not intended

From what I observe,
It's certainly not just about giving the singles
Blessings and a token in cash.
Rather, behind that object,
It symbolizes many Asians values.

Firstly we have that of
To thy kids shall be given equal or similar value
Of that which thou kids have received from you.
In simple English,
this means "market rate"
If on average in the past few years, you give $4
Similar, I will return you $4 per kid.

A quick analysis will realize that Moms alike must
a) have a good memory as to match angbao giver to angbao
b) it's worthwhile to have more kids.

Then we have the art of giving in absence
To give when thy is absent or to forgo it since you are absent
A giver of angbao will either give to whoever is present;
Or "tompang" so-and-so to pass angbao to such and such kids.

And here, the art of giving is intricate.
If you give to only those you meet, and not those who MIA
then you may be seen as being miserly.
Especially if your kids received the red packets
From the mom of the kid who was MIA.

But if you choose to "tompang"
Then you better make sure you don't omit any kids
Else can you imagine?
You give your brother's kids, but not your sister's
Or worse, you give the first child, but not the second =)

Quite frankly, I find "tompanging" a chore.
Not very enthusiatic to go around collecting angbaos for others.
Honestly, if you forgot I have a sister
and only gave me a red packet for me cuz you saw me,
Please don't feel bad.
I think you should only give to those you see.
The onus should not be on the giver alone to determine
Who should be given a red packet.

In this case, I strongly believe in
"If they can't be bothered to wish you Happy New Year,
Then they certainly should not deserve your angbao"
I honestly feel bad
When so-and-so passes a red packet to my mom for me.
It's like I din even get to wish you,
how can I take your well wishes.

Of cos, this is purely my opinion,
And it certainly doesn't include acceptable reasons for absence
such as being abroad for studies, or having to work;
Quite so, "sleeping" is certainly not one of them.

And last but not least,
The art of giving an angbao includes
the necessity in knowing the background of the receiver.
This is simply to aid questioning
"how are studies?"; "When you two getting married?"
"When you getting steady?"
And of cos.. if you are giving it to the boy
who is the son of your mother-in-law's brother or the like,
Then you also acquire the art of doing a quick background check =)

yet another day of memories...
2/19/2007 01:53:00 AM

An Instrument of Peace
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant me that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

(Attributed to St Francis of Assisi )