yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
yet another day of memories...
Feeling pleasantly fine
Was late for lunch
Apologies to Giggsy who had to wait.
"A Twist of Fate" was intriguing
I can't believe I couldn't predict the ending at all
Until finally they concluded..
And I can go "orhh..." =]
Bought the soundtrack
The musical is really good
for a Singapore production.
*Singapore pride!
Well, not really feeling that great now
Wonder if its PMS..
But not that depressing mood yet
Just feeling very down about stuff.
I think mankind can be really vile
Spoiling a kid's childhood
For the sake of information digging
To satisfy your own doubts
For gosh's sake
If you want to know,
Ask the party involved
DUN & DUN affect the kid
He/She has a right to his/her innocence
Reality is sad
Not everything can be done
Nor all dreams fulfilled as desired
Life still has to go on
With a pragmatic approach
Some dreams just have to be shelved
Permanently
Some reality just have to be accepted
Unwillingly.
11/27/2005 03:06:00 AM
All my content revision is done!
So now I can go work on practising
And be even more ready for my exams~
Hmmz.. and tml I can relax.
Doing some leisure stuff
Before coming home at night to mug
Going to watch "A Twist Of Fate"
With my long time buddy Giggsy =]
Our friendship has been 6 yrs old le;
And guess what, we never go out
To watch play together before..
Hee.. my new potential theater kaki!
And after that, meeting mom & sis;
Ladies Outing again without daddy..
Sometimes I wonder,
How does it feel like
being the only man in the house..
Alright, shall continue another time
But before I go,
The song you all are hearing
Is one of my favourites
So even though I cannot hear music from everyone's blogs
Mine included..
I wanna thank Silver for helping me
To put it in.
Thanks alot!
*cheerful*
11/26/2005 02:33:00 AM
I will blog happy things..
So here goes:
Biz Process completed too!
Now left Econs 2 chapters,
then I can go practise
All the questions from
Everywhere that I can get
=]
Gee.. thats the superficial part
of my happiness.
Here is the real part
Something happened today,
Made me realise a truth
That I believed in years ago
But lost sight of over time.
*For privacy sake,
I am not really going to elaborate.
If you are really curious about it,
You can ask me after my exams =p
Well, in short,
the truth struck me today
& the realization about
What I did to myself
After forgetting about this belief,
I was deeply hurt
And super remorseful.
To the extent that tears just dropped
Unknowingly
It's alright now though
The power of tears
The power of healing
Lesson here:
Sometimes we are so caught up in chasing our goals,
Living a life of comfort & conformity
We neglect our own belief system
And do things that waste ourselves away.
Course of action here:
Make a conscious effort from today
Reflect and ask yourself daily
"Am i doing something that I won't regret?"
"Have I lost sight of anything that means alot to me"
"How have I change?"
Okay.. not exactly a light hearted piece
But trust me.. you will be happier
Knowing that you have not lost yourself
Years down the road
I am blessed to be on the right track again.
So can you =]
*Happy*
11/25/2005 05:38:00 AM
That I cannot lead a peaceful life?
I thought that by staying at home,
I can "hide" away from everything.
Apparently I am wrong.
I seriously consider
Moving up to the mountains
Be selective about the people
Whom can visit me there
11/22/2005 08:30:00 PM
Now left 4 chapters of Econs
& 2 chapters of Biz Process.
Was supposed to finish by last week
But due to foreseen non-planning
a.k.a marketing quiz,
I am so behind in my revision. =[
The funny thing is
I am mentally psyched for next week;
Little trepidation about the exams.
Which I am not sure if its a good thing
To feel this way.
Its not a sense of confidence
That i will do extremely well;
Nor is it a sense of giving up
That i just can't be bothered anymore.
I dunno why I feel this way
But its just a sense of
acceptance with peace.
Like "Come what may"
Am i losing the fighting spirit?
Am i losing sight of the goals?
No, i still want to get a decent GPA
I still want a shoot at my 2nd Dean's List
But somehow I am just not as paranoid as before.
Someone reassure me that I am fine..
Its normal to feel this way
& I will still get what I want
Despite the lack of pia-ness
11/22/2005 04:36:00 AM
Was very positive,
& that before that,
there are many negative ones
And so I shall attempt
To put more sunshine into the darkness
Brighten up the otherwise depressing-ness
Had my first guitar performance today.
Pretty decided that I can sing
Much better than I can strum
But still.. it was all in the name of fun.
Kinda renewed the love I had
For the campus & the school
Hasnt felt this way for a long long sem
Laughing & smiling constantly
No rush to go anywhere
Just chilling out & enjoying myself.
Learnt so much more abt my school today
How it has free pool,
And a hidden toilet in the corner
*I love SMU*
Is this how love is like?
I think so =]
Feeling happy & carefree;
Discovering new things
day by day,
Falling deeper in willingly.
Met up with friends too
Who kinda drifted apart with the new term
Its always nice to strengthen that bond
But now, I should get back to books.
Anyone has the mp3 though?
Title of "Sometimes Love Just Ain Enough"
11/19/2005 01:39:00 AM
That my mood has been so good =]
Guess the rest I got
After taking the flu tablet
Works wonders for the nose.
Never am I so glad
To have a nose that runs;
Sure beats the blocked one!
And even though I was running late today,
Plus had to take a taxi
It din bother me much
Except to improve my mood. =]
For once, no ERP,
no peak hour surcharge
Yeps, paid the fare willingly =]
May this mood stay with me for a long long time!
11/17/2005 01:34:00 PM
I would appreciate it
If all of you would understand
That I need to concentrate on studying
And that means,
Not bothering me
Unless its absolutely urgent
And can't wait until my exams are over
I am not being ungrateful
I appreciate all of u
Asking how I am
& showing concern.
But really,
apart from that;
DND unless urgent matters
And pardon me for being so mean.
Hope you all understand
11/16/2005 04:38:00 PM
I know I have hurt you.
I am sorry to have caused you pain;
Apologetic at how things turn out.
I feel bad when I know how u feel
& i really regret inflicting this on you
But guilt should not be the reason
And will not be
For me to return to you.
In the long run, things ll be fine.
I just have to ride things out
Strengthen my resolution to stay firm
I must be heartless,
I must be strong
11/15/2005 12:48:00 PM
A place that I can go
Where troubles are left at the door
And i can enjoy the peace I need
I thought home was that
But its crazy
As I type this,
my sister & mom is yelling away
Funny how ppl always want to have things their way
And how my mom twists facts into her favour
And how my dad just shirks away from decision-making
In the name of wanting peace
Is it peace he wants;
Or autocratic silence?
Reality bite:
The problem still exists beneath the silence
No use pretending that it doesn't
Just 'cos it ain in the open.
I am not criticizing my parents' style
Its just that
I feel so despaired
What they are doing
Is not helping communication
And on the other hand,
there is my sister fighting for her rights.
Is this how a family is supposed to be?
Why can't everyone compromise?
What happened to bonding & unity?
What happened to forbearance?
What happened to giving way to one another?
What happened to home as a sanctuary?
*I cant help but weep
11/15/2005 03:13:00 AM
When you least expect them to;
They have their own way
Of developing,
The way that you never thought they would.
Days ago,
I wouldnt have thought that
I would be single now
And so decided on my studies
Days ago,
I wouldnt have thought that
My pal would tell me
Words I long to hear a long time ago
But have since came to peace
That I would never hear
Acceptance then with peace
She totally caught me by surprise
And for a moment I really did not know
What reaction to have
What questions to ask
What answers to give
*I was stunned*
If she had said them back then,
Everything would be different;
Perhaps then I would never
Have the fortune to learn
Through experiencing pain.
If she had never ever said them,
I wouldnt have thought about the past
Perhaps then I would not
Learn to appreciate how
Things have a way of catching up
Fate matters,
So does the timing of fate.
And for now
Everything else doesnt matter
*studies first*
Perhaps I am just avoiding,
Hiding behind the facade of books
But I just don't want to get hurt
Time will tell;
Time will filter for me
Those worthy of trust
Worthy of the permission to hurt me
11/15/2005 01:01:00 AM
I am supposed to think about what I want
From a relationship,
And whether or not you can give it to me
But i can't help thinking
The other way
About what you want,
And what I definitely cant give
The sense of defeat & pain I feel
Overwhelms me.
Am I that terrible?
Or is it just that we cannot compromise?
I know what I want;
That you can give.
Companionship,
Security & love
But what I really want is this:
A sense of wellness
Of being able to treat myself well;
Of being able to love myself
For who I am,
And be edified by you in doing so.
To be respected for what I am doing
And be given the freedom to do the things I wanna do
I don't expect you to fit my timetable;
But i don't want to fit yours intentionally either.
I don't want to have to manage my time around you;
I want us both to have a personal space;
And be comfortable in giving each other that.
I don't want emotional guilt when I do things
Not the way you want me to.
I want to be loved for who i am;
And do things willingly,
Not be coerced into it.
I know I am selfish
& that Love is not supposed to be selfish
But apart from loving you,
I also want to love myself
And i really dunno
If i am really alright
With loving you
@ the expense of myself
11/13/2005 07:15:00 PM
My focus for now is still my studies;
You said you understood
But do you really do?
You said to study in peace,
Not to worry about you;
That you would have your own program
Life goes on
And not forgetting
Your say that I have no obligations
Towards you
So thats how you view us.
Are you really fine with it?
It seems to me not.
Each message you send,
Each conversation we had;
Seems to me
Like a plan
To alienate me from your life
And to tell me that you are alright
Not having me in your life.
Like what I told you,
I won't be surprised if we drifted apart
And this time round,
I promise
I wun succumb to any emotional guilt.
My priority is still studies;
I am a full-time student
11/13/2005 06:03:00 PM
and the end of the semester.
Already the stress level is picking up;
All around me, people are sick,
Myself included.
Its really funny
For the lack of humour,
How the chain of coughing-melody
Can be heard in class;
In the midst of tests
& presentations.
I really feel then
Like slipping everyone
A pipagao sweet.
Yupz, the one that I have been surviving on.
Bought one box on Tuesday
When the cough got absolutely horrible
And have been sucking on them
non-stop once the tickle comes.
Stockup on supply today :)
*Always ready*
Lol.. they should appoint me
"The pipagao ambassdor" :P
Seriously, they are good.
I was like coughing so badly this morning
People at the bus stop was giving me stares
And the impact of the cough was like
vibrating through my rib cage
*OUCh!*
Ta-da, a sweet & the itch slowly subsides
Not miracle but a useful solution;
Esp when similar things happen in class
& I really dun wanna disturb others' presentations
Anyone wants to try this cure?
11/11/2005 02:24:00 AM
But i guess I just needed some distraction
Sigh.. somewhat lacking in self-discipline
Even went to watch play today.
But the play was good.
Anyone wants to go watch
"Modern Dance for Beginners"?
Contrary to the name,
it ain about dance,
But rather about sex.
yepz.. the 3 letter word
That most Asians blush to hear.
It was a good play,
Minus all the words used
To refer to various anatomies in the human body.
* I got lost during the play for awhile*
Learnt way too much vocabulary today =]
2 people acting out various characters,
Which were all linked in some way
Having a sexual relationship somehow.
The technical part was not too creative;
But nonetheless intriguing
Got many insights about the different perspectives mankind has of sex
It was bittersweet in a way,
how some of the characters were.
Like one guy who wanted more emotional intimacy
Than what he was getting physically
But yet the girl was unwilling
and insisted that she was cold;
and not wanting any more than meeting her physical needs.
When actually, it was because she was still hung up over another
It was beautiful
Yes, in a sense.
Doesn't that sound familar?
Like we heard from one of our friends,
Or another..
Apparently, "Theatre enacts Life"
11/06/2005 02:29:00 AM
What is the definition of Holiday?
Thought it meant a break
But guess what,
Got to go back to school tml
Not only having lessons;
But also doing project
*sad*
I seem to be missing out alot
Thought can relax today.
Can go to essential brew
And chill out..
Then came along a project
That needed immediate work
Guess another team missing dynamics.
I hope things change.
Know definitely who is in
And who is out,
For project groups next semester
11/02/2005 11:34:00 PM
Dreams
To be out and open
Independence
To be totally Christ-like
I believe that:
Courage is not an absence of fear
but the willingness to face up to the circumstances in spite of the fear.
Desires
A Pair of Pretty Sandals!
CPA! Achieved!
Investment Guru
dislikes
creepy crawly "things"
Unnecessary politics
Goals
get driving license
start my own business
to create my own hedge fund
older memories
my past journey